| (no subject) |
[Apr. 30th, 2006|09:38 pm] |
|
Hmmm..you put a smile on my face :) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 5th, 2006|01:29 pm] |
|
I'm tired of constantly feeling bad. I feel like I screw up every possible situation. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to disappear. I'm just not happy with myself. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 25th, 2006|09:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nervous | ] |
January 27th, 2006. The Deciding Day...of my future. I'm so incredibly nervous. I really want to know but at the same time, ignorance is bliss, right? Holy crap...I don't think I can even wait two more days. This will either make or break my year. I've worked so hard all through school and now it boils down to this. Oh god...
on a side note. the littlest things make me so happy. Just being able to see you for a little bit tonight made my week all worth it. It doesn't take much to make me happy. Just remember that. It's all in the little things, the subconscious things.
I think I overanalyze every possible situation. I serisouly need to find a way to relax. Maybe every time I get nervous I should just read or something to escape..but then I'd be reading constantly. I wish I didn't get so nervous about so many things. I'm constantly anxious. It's very annoying. I wish I was just secure with things...I shouldn't let other people sway my thoughts so I'm done with that..now that I figured out your real motive. Smooth. Very smooth.
Peace. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 21st, 2006|09:13 pm] |
There are some things that people just don't understand, and one of them is other people. I can't be like the rest of you. I can't hold grudges. I can't just yell to yell. I try so hard to accept other people's faults and although that can lead to me being hurt, in the long run it really is much better that way. Now I'm not saying to let everything slide and to let people walk all over you, but honestly, somethings just aren't meant to be changed. I can't turn you into a perfect person, but then again, what is a perfect person? I know you have your moments but you know what, I'm sure I have mine too but does that mean that we just bitch each other out and end up hating each other? I think not. I don't work that way. We had a brief conversation about it and I think that was all that was necessary. If fact, I could have even stayed a bit calmer. But anyway, my point with all of this is people just need to relax and accept people. I can't change who I am. I can't be like you. I won't be like you. I've been this way for 18 years of my life and so far it has worked. I've had four meaningful relationships and frankly I think that is quite alot. Apparently my methods are working just fine so I would prefer that people try not to change me. I know a lot of the time you are all just looking out for what you think is best for me, but in reality, some of you just need to focus on your own problems for once. Look at what you need to fix, not what I should fix. I like the way things are. No, they aren't perfect but nothing ever is. In fact, I think that is what makes everything worth while.
And another thing. So you say all these things to my good friends, and that's really nice of you. Honestly. But it won't make a difference until you say them to me. I wish I didn't seem to unreachable to people. I don't know why I seem that way sometimes but I think that is just your own perception of things. If you just got to know me, then you wouldn't have to judge so much.
Ok well now that I have reverted back to my old lj habits (Matt will understand haha), I'm gonna go. Sorry for those of you who wasted your time reading this but it doesn't mean anything to anyone but me.
Peace. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 19th, 2006|10:14 pm] |
|
Weapon of mass destruction. That's all I have to say. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 19th, 2006|06:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
I wish little things wouldn't change my mood so much.
That old email hit me pretty hard today. I don't even know why I read it b/c I was just asking to be upset. But I guess I just miss things like that. I really felt like I was needed and that makes me feel good for some reason.
I should have known today would end up that way. Always last on the list. I guess things will never change. I hate to keep thinking about the past but honestly, it is hard not to b/c you set such high standards. Sometimes it's hard..
I don't even know why I bother getting my hopes up about anything any more. Everything always seems to come crashing down. If you don't expect anything, then you can never get hurt, right? I wish I could live by that rule. It would make life so much more simple.
I miss... |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 16th, 2006|09:22 pm] |
I missed you today.
That's all that is on my mind right now. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 16th, 2006|12:34 am] |
Um...I'm pretty sure it's the Boilermakers...but anyway...
So for once I honestly have no words to describe tonight. I'm just plain speechless. As you could probably tell when you left...
like you said earlier...I'm crazy in love with you...simply put.
Peace. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2006|09:22 pm] |
Ok, ok I'll admit it. You're the best car washer...with my help of course.
Man does my car look sexy. Oh yeah..that's right. It's so clean I'd eat off of it.
What a good week it has been...now let's hope I didn't jinx myself.
I love you mucho.
Ok..I have to go stare at my car. Peace. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
parisinflamez's journal